Thursday, August 12, 2004
Plea for a Boycott
Shelly and I are going camping this weekend in Acadia National Park in Maine. We're very excited for our first camping trip as a married couple, but the catch is that, as we've both only depended on our respective parents for camping supplies for all previous camping trips throughout our lives, we need to buy everything.
One thing we need is a lantern. We went to Target and looked at the propane and battery-powered lanterns they had there. We were kind of hoping for one of those combo flashlight/lantern dealies. We bought one and it didn't work, so I determined to go to EMS to get a real (that is, functional) one.
EMS (Eastern Mountain Sports) is supposed to be a high-end outdoors store, positioned to compete directly with REI (REI is so well-known and engrained, at least to me, it doesn't need an explanation of its acronym. I think the R is for "Recreation" or something.). They only have stores in East Coast states (and Michigan and Colorado, I see on their web site), and I had never been to one before.
So today I walked in and found their lantern section. Or, should I say, their lantern. That's right, this high-end outdoors/camping/biking/climbing/hiking/boating store had a selection of exactly one (1) lantern. A cheap little thing made by GE with a tiny bulb. Its price tag said $9.99, but I wouldn't have paid $5 for it. I asked the sales dude if this was all they had and he sheepishly admitted, "Yeah. It does get pretty bright, though." I told him, "That's pretty dinky." I should have told him, "Target (TARGET!) has a selection of about ten different lanterns, including ones made by Coleman, the only camping brand anyone ever wants. You guys call yourselves an outdoors store, and you only sell ONE DINKY LITTLE LANTERN? Stupid old Target is better than you! Cheaper, too. This guy over here [pointing to a nearby employee] is explaining a complicated GPS system to that customer. But what use is knowing your exact longitude and latitude if it's dark and you don't have a lantern? I hope you and your entire corporation gets lost in the woods at midnight. Sheesh."
Moral of the story: Specialty stores aren't worth your time. Just go to Target and buy absolutely everything you need there.
One thing we need is a lantern. We went to Target and looked at the propane and battery-powered lanterns they had there. We were kind of hoping for one of those combo flashlight/lantern dealies. We bought one and it didn't work, so I determined to go to EMS to get a real (that is, functional) one.
EMS (Eastern Mountain Sports) is supposed to be a high-end outdoors store, positioned to compete directly with REI (REI is so well-known and engrained, at least to me, it doesn't need an explanation of its acronym. I think the R is for "Recreation" or something.). They only have stores in East Coast states (and Michigan and Colorado, I see on their web site), and I had never been to one before.
So today I walked in and found their lantern section. Or, should I say, their lantern. That's right, this high-end outdoors/camping/biking/climbing/hiking/boating store had a selection of exactly one (1) lantern. A cheap little thing made by GE with a tiny bulb. Its price tag said $9.99, but I wouldn't have paid $5 for it. I asked the sales dude if this was all they had and he sheepishly admitted, "Yeah. It does get pretty bright, though." I told him, "That's pretty dinky." I should have told him, "Target (TARGET!) has a selection of about ten different lanterns, including ones made by Coleman, the only camping brand anyone ever wants. You guys call yourselves an outdoors store, and you only sell ONE DINKY LITTLE LANTERN? Stupid old Target is better than you! Cheaper, too. This guy over here [pointing to a nearby employee] is explaining a complicated GPS system to that customer. But what use is knowing your exact longitude and latitude if it's dark and you don't have a lantern? I hope you and your entire corporation gets lost in the woods at midnight. Sheesh."
Moral of the story: Specialty stores aren't worth your time. Just go to Target and buy absolutely everything you need there.
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