Wednesday, August 18, 2004
Thoughts of Olympic Proportions
Shelly and I have been watching the Olympics for the past two nights. We borrowed a TV from her coworker to do it, because we're so pathetic we don't have a TV (actually, Shelly says she refuses to have a TV if she doesn't have cable, and cable isn't in the budget right now; me, I justify the decision to go TV-less simply because there isn't much that I ever really want to watch on TV except "The Simpsons" (and I've already seen most of the reruns that come on) and select sporting events (and there are other ways to see those--like borrowing a TV)). Here are some random thoughts drawn from my two nights of viewing:
* Why does swimmer Michael Phelps insist on wearing his wetsuit pants so low? I swear I actually saw his bum crack, but it seems NBC is trying to avoid shots of him from the back. Is it related to aerodynamics in a way that will help his swimming speed? Or is he just a punk kid who listens to Eminem and wears his pants too low?
* Speaking of Phelps, I wonder how much money he's making from the deals for the few commercials he's in. Sure, he's popular right now, but Olympic athletes only have a few weeks of fame every four years. It's not the same enduring endorsement power of, say, Kobe Bryant. Oops--bad example.
* Why are there no black male gymnasts? Men's gymnastics seems to me to be as much about raw muscle strength as it is about coordination, and let's face it, white boys: black men often tend to be naturally more muscular and strong. But all we've got is a bunch of buff white guys.
* How on earth do you practice synchronized diving? It's not like you can look over and see what your partner is doing as you fall toward the water. It's not like you can choreograph and time your moves exactly when you've only got two or three seconds to do them in.
* When did fencing move to "electronic scoring"? This seems to me to be one of the more ancient and traditional sports in the Olympics, but we're now wearing masks that light up when you get hit? It seems a lot like Laser Tag to me.
* There are a lot of commercials for a new animated TV series on NBC, "Father of the Pride." It appears it's the story of a bunch of performing animals--particularly some white lions--in Las Vegas, owned by a very Sigfried and Roy-like duo. The show has probably been in the works for a few years, but is it socially acceptable to put out a parody of Sigfried and Roy while Sigfried is still in the hospital?
* What would it take to get a 2.0 in gymnastics? One Chinese girl dismounted from the parallel bars and landed smack in a heap on the mat (the spotter sure didn't do a good job, by the way: he was standing there with his arms stretched out, but he was a few feet away). True, she did pretty well on the rest of her routine, but she still got an 8.9 or something. It seems to me you'd have to be REALLY bad to get lower than a 5.
* Speaking of landing smack in a heap, I think it's interesting that we'll spend all night watching these sports with great interest, but only once every four years. Every now and then, some world championship or other non-Olympic competition will be on TV, and no one will watch it (well, I guess some people watch non-Olympic figure skating, but swimming? Fencing? No way.). We say, "This is the Olympics! We have to support our country!" But your country is competing in the world championships, too. And it seems to me that it might even be more interesting to watch the lower levels of the sports like gymnastics because although a well-executed routine is a thing of beauty, a poorly executed one is way more entertaining. The crumpled landing of that Chinese girl, while sad, was more fun to watch than most of the good routines.
* Shelly is a little miffed and/or confused by my penchant for cheering for obscure countries, even at the expense of the USA. I am thrilled to have watched that swimmer from Zimbabwe win two medals. I was cheering for swimmers from Kazakhstan and Algeria. I guess I just sort of have a problem with only a few countries (USA, Australia, China, Romania (in gymnastics), Canada, Russia, Western Europe in general, etc.) dominating everything. I might even cheer for Serbia-Montenegro to beat the USA basketball team.
* Finally, speaking of obscure countries, I have watched for two nights, and I have yet to see a single Latin American athlete compete in any event. We saw some beach volleyball yesterday and the announcers mentioned how good Brazil is, but that's it. I realize some countries have more resources than others, but if Zimbabwe can produce a medal-winning swimmer, can't Argentina?
* Why does swimmer Michael Phelps insist on wearing his wetsuit pants so low? I swear I actually saw his bum crack, but it seems NBC is trying to avoid shots of him from the back. Is it related to aerodynamics in a way that will help his swimming speed? Or is he just a punk kid who listens to Eminem and wears his pants too low?
* Speaking of Phelps, I wonder how much money he's making from the deals for the few commercials he's in. Sure, he's popular right now, but Olympic athletes only have a few weeks of fame every four years. It's not the same enduring endorsement power of, say, Kobe Bryant. Oops--bad example.
* Why are there no black male gymnasts? Men's gymnastics seems to me to be as much about raw muscle strength as it is about coordination, and let's face it, white boys: black men often tend to be naturally more muscular and strong. But all we've got is a bunch of buff white guys.
* How on earth do you practice synchronized diving? It's not like you can look over and see what your partner is doing as you fall toward the water. It's not like you can choreograph and time your moves exactly when you've only got two or three seconds to do them in.
* When did fencing move to "electronic scoring"? This seems to me to be one of the more ancient and traditional sports in the Olympics, but we're now wearing masks that light up when you get hit? It seems a lot like Laser Tag to me.
* There are a lot of commercials for a new animated TV series on NBC, "Father of the Pride." It appears it's the story of a bunch of performing animals--particularly some white lions--in Las Vegas, owned by a very Sigfried and Roy-like duo. The show has probably been in the works for a few years, but is it socially acceptable to put out a parody of Sigfried and Roy while Sigfried is still in the hospital?
* What would it take to get a 2.0 in gymnastics? One Chinese girl dismounted from the parallel bars and landed smack in a heap on the mat (the spotter sure didn't do a good job, by the way: he was standing there with his arms stretched out, but he was a few feet away). True, she did pretty well on the rest of her routine, but she still got an 8.9 or something. It seems to me you'd have to be REALLY bad to get lower than a 5.
* Speaking of landing smack in a heap, I think it's interesting that we'll spend all night watching these sports with great interest, but only once every four years. Every now and then, some world championship or other non-Olympic competition will be on TV, and no one will watch it (well, I guess some people watch non-Olympic figure skating, but swimming? Fencing? No way.). We say, "This is the Olympics! We have to support our country!" But your country is competing in the world championships, too. And it seems to me that it might even be more interesting to watch the lower levels of the sports like gymnastics because although a well-executed routine is a thing of beauty, a poorly executed one is way more entertaining. The crumpled landing of that Chinese girl, while sad, was more fun to watch than most of the good routines.
* Shelly is a little miffed and/or confused by my penchant for cheering for obscure countries, even at the expense of the USA. I am thrilled to have watched that swimmer from Zimbabwe win two medals. I was cheering for swimmers from Kazakhstan and Algeria. I guess I just sort of have a problem with only a few countries (USA, Australia, China, Romania (in gymnastics), Canada, Russia, Western Europe in general, etc.) dominating everything. I might even cheer for Serbia-Montenegro to beat the USA basketball team.
* Finally, speaking of obscure countries, I have watched for two nights, and I have yet to see a single Latin American athlete compete in any event. We saw some beach volleyball yesterday and the announcers mentioned how good Brazil is, but that's it. I realize some countries have more resources than others, but if Zimbabwe can produce a medal-winning swimmer, can't Argentina?
Comments:
Just a quick correction. It's Roy who was attacked by the tiger, not Siegfried. But I just read an article that Roy made his first appearance in Las Vegas since the attack at a new show he and Siegfried are producing, and that the duo is involved with the production of the new show "Father of the Pride."
So I guess it's not to insensitive, since it was their idea.
And in my defense, I'm all about rooting for athletes from obscure countries as long as Americans aren't competing. What can I say - I'm loyal. Gotta make sure we keep our medal domination going.
Shelly
So I guess it's not to insensitive, since it was their idea.
And in my defense, I'm all about rooting for athletes from obscure countries as long as Americans aren't competing. What can I say - I'm loyal. Gotta make sure we keep our medal domination going.
Shelly
Yeah, I realized it was really Sigfried after I posted, but I figured no one would notice. Congrats to the cutest girl in the world for also being the most perceptive! I didn't know they endorsed the show, though. Beautiful, perceptive, and informed!
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