Tuesday, November 02, 2004
Zeke for Everything!
I went to vote this morning. I left disillusioned, but at least I knew going in that I would be disillusioned.
It started on the short walk from our apartment to the polling place. Shelly and I were stopped by David Slavitt, the Republican candidate for state representative. He introduced himself to us: "I'm the pro-choice Republican running against the pro-life Democrat, which is causing a lot of people to stop and furrow their brows." He handed us each a little flyer, and just about the only thing on it that really resonated with me was the slogan, "Vote Republican for the sake of Democracy." Why this resonated with me will become clearer, dear reader, in the next paragraph.
My ballot listed six offices up for grabs. It listed four candidates for President. But among the five local offices, there were six total candidates. That's right. Four people were running unopposed. Our friend the pro-choice Republican was the only Republican candidate on the ballot who is not currently the President of the United States.
Now, I know Massachusetts in general and Cambridge in particular are very Democratic. Very VERY Democratic. But Utah is just as Republican as Mass is Democratic, and at least there they have Democrats who run. They generally don't win, but they run. What is wrong with the Republican Party in Massachusetts that they can't even put up a candidate for U.S. Congress (our Democrat incumbent was running unopposed), or U.S. Senate (two years ago, John Kerry was the only name on the ballot for that office)?!
For the sake of Democracy, Shelly and I determined beforehand that we were not going to vote for any of the unopposed candidates. We thought of voting instead for that lovable write-in candidate, Donald Duck, but instead randomly picked our friend Zeke Johnson. We each wrote him in for four different offices. He probably won't win, but he'll do better than the Republican Party's choice!
It started on the short walk from our apartment to the polling place. Shelly and I were stopped by David Slavitt, the Republican candidate for state representative. He introduced himself to us: "I'm the pro-choice Republican running against the pro-life Democrat, which is causing a lot of people to stop and furrow their brows." He handed us each a little flyer, and just about the only thing on it that really resonated with me was the slogan, "Vote Republican for the sake of Democracy." Why this resonated with me will become clearer, dear reader, in the next paragraph.
My ballot listed six offices up for grabs. It listed four candidates for President. But among the five local offices, there were six total candidates. That's right. Four people were running unopposed. Our friend the pro-choice Republican was the only Republican candidate on the ballot who is not currently the President of the United States.
Now, I know Massachusetts in general and Cambridge in particular are very Democratic. Very VERY Democratic. But Utah is just as Republican as Mass is Democratic, and at least there they have Democrats who run. They generally don't win, but they run. What is wrong with the Republican Party in Massachusetts that they can't even put up a candidate for U.S. Congress (our Democrat incumbent was running unopposed), or U.S. Senate (two years ago, John Kerry was the only name on the ballot for that office)?!
For the sake of Democracy, Shelly and I determined beforehand that we were not going to vote for any of the unopposed candidates. We thought of voting instead for that lovable write-in candidate, Donald Duck, but instead randomly picked our friend Zeke Johnson. We each wrote him in for four different offices. He probably won't win, but he'll do better than the Republican Party's choice!
Comments:
I had hoped that Zeke would be surprised and flattered by our votes for him. He was flattered, but not surprised. It turns out we weren't the only ones who voted for him for the uncontested elections. Zeke himself, his wife, and a neighbor of theirs all also voted for him. That gives him five votes for each of four offices. He tells me he's going to write a concession letter to the guy who beat him out for state senate, with whom he's already had a heated discussion about same-sex marriage. Tee hee.
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