Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Moot
One of the principles of the law that I have paid through the nose to learn is that courts can't take a case unless someone has actually been injured. Today in Federal Courts class, for example, we talked about a few cases which established that if there's a law you don't like--even a law that you seriously believe violates your constitutional rights--you can't get a court to strike it down unless you've violated the law and been prosecuted for it. To me, this opens the door for all sorts of fun legislation that is clearly unconstitutional but which never can be taken off the books because it will never be challengeable in a court of law because it's impossible to violate. Here's a sample list that I hope state and federal legislators will take notice of and emulate:
- All green-skinned people shall be rounded up and forced to join the circus.
- It shall be a capital offense to simultaneously own both a hair salon in Walla Walla, Washington and the New York Knicks.
- Troops shall have the privilege of being quartered in the home of any citizen, provided said home is not in direct or indirect contact with the ground.
- Electric eels are prohibited from becoming shareholders in any corporation.
- In all first-degree murder cases, the defendant's right to a jury trial shall not be denied, except in cases where the defendant is less than two years old.
- Resolved, that Millard Fillmore was our worst President.
- Every person found with three or more eyes will forfeit their superfluous eyeballs to the government, with no compensation.
- Any church professing belief that Elvis is the reincarnation of Bobby Fischer may apply to the government for direct financial support.
- Residents of the Boston metropolitan area who are proven to be Yankees fans will be shot.
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