I've decided that among all of the great things about having the month of August basically off, after the bar exam and before I start going to work, is the way it will improve my marriage.

You see, right now, Shelly and I have reversed roles from what we're probably going to end up spending most of our lives doing. She's going to work every morning, the reliable breadwinner, and I stay at home all day. Granted, when Shelly starts staying at home she'll have kids to take care of, which I don't have. But in a general sense, I'm doing what she will eventually be doing a lot of, and she's doing what I'll eventually be doing a lot of. And that allows both of us to build up some empathy for each other's eventual position.

Specifically, I've noticed that when I do something at home--even something as simple as tighten the toothbrush holder to the wall--when Shelly comes home, I really kind of hope she'll notice and thank me for it. If I've emptied the dishwasher while she's gone, I don't so much hope for approval (that's a really mundane task that I should be expected to do), but when she does notice and thank me, it makes me feel really good. What I'm saying is that I've come to learn how it feels to be at home, working to make home a nice place, and to know how good it feels to feel appreciated at that task. So that will make me better at noticing the things Shelly does while I'm at work, and being sure to compliment and thank her for them.

Conversely, Shelly is probably learning how annoying it is when I call every day and tell her to come home faster. Perhaps the experience of having been frustrated with me when I do that will prompt her to refrain from doing it to me. Which will make everyone happier (especially since my hours are probably not going to be as short or as reliable as hers currently are).

So by assuming alternate roles, we learn how to best treat someone in the other place. Then, when we switch places, we'll know how to treat each other even better than couples who never have this role-reversal experience. And that will make our marriage better. Which is a wonderful thing, isn't it?