From time to time, I find myself thinking about the products to which I am brand loyal. Don't ask me why. And when it comes down to it, I think the list is fairly small.

See, one of the key qualities of a product that can inspire brand loyalty is that it is bought often. It needs to be eaten, used up, or worn out so that you have to buy more. I never use any MP3 player other than my trusty Rio Karma (no iPod for me!), but that doesn't make me brand-loyal to Karmas. I've only ever bought one of them.

So when I think about my brand loyalties, here are my top five.

1. Colgate toothpaste. It just tastes better. I don't know when was the last time I bought a different brand (though I do admit that I try different varieties of Colgate), and I can't imagine the next time I will. Shelly doesn't think the great taste justifies the 50 cents or so per tube that it costs more than her favorite brand, Ultra-Brite. But Ultra-Brite is disgusting. It's really hard to kiss someone who's just brushed with it; I can't imagine brushing with it myself.

2. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter. Stupid name. It's nothing like butter. I bet I could tell I Can't Believe It's Not Butter apart from butter based on sight, taste, smell, feel, and probably even sound. Butter sucks. It's hard, unspreadable, and mostly tasteless. I Can't Believe It's Not Butter, on the other hand, tastes nothing like butter. It's dreamy. Try as Shelly might to buy Country Crock, Land O' Lakes, or some other spreadable margariney substance, but it's just not the same. Don't believe me? Take a piece of bread (preferably Granny Bread*) and smear it generously with ICBINB. You'll agree that you've never had a better piece of bread-and-butter.

3. Life cereal. Although I will readily admit that I do eat cereals other than Life, Life will always be my favorite. If there is no Life in the house, then we've got to go get more Life. I don't like Cinnamon Life, and the new Honey Graham and Yogurt Crunch varieties are just not as good as the original. I love Life.

4. Land's End All-Weather Mocs. This one almost didn't qualify for this list, becasue I only have owned two pairs of these wonderful shoes. But I have yet to see any better shoes. The key is versatility. I can wear these puppies with a sportcoat and tie, or I can slap them on and go hiking (OK, not really serious hiking, but still). I wear these shoes almost every day (oddly, though, I didn't wear them today). When I wore out my last pair until they were hanging together with duct tape, Shelly bought me a new pair for Christmas. What a girl.

5. Suave shampoo. This one is easy. It's really, really cheap, and I don't care enough about my hair to pay any more than absolutely necessary. End of story.

* Granny Bread would be at the top of this list, if only it were a single brand. But in fact, there are a few different interchangeable brands, such as Grandma Sycamore's and Granny's Delite. For the unfortunate reader who may not be familiar with Granny Bread, it's a strain of sandwich bread available only in Utah that is probably made with pure ambrosia. No other bread comes close to being as good. If I ever move back to Utah, you can bet that the Number One Reason will be in order to get better access to Granny Bread. I've had it shipped to me everywhere I've lived outside of Utah. Whenever I return, I always leave room in my suitcase for a shoebox full of a loaf or two. Praise be to Granny Bread!