Thursday, June 01, 2006
Female Hipocrisy
If you, dear reader, are a woman, please take a look at the following descriptions of two eligible bachelors, and tell me (seriously--tell me in the comments) which one of them you think would make a worthier mate. If you, dear reader, are a man, look at these two bachelors and tell me which one you try (or tried) to be in your attempts to attract women.
Bachelor Number One
Offish
Quite good-looking
Refuses to talk to new people
Domineering of his friends
Easily put off by others' silly actions
Insulting without remorse
Willing to throw a lot of money at the problems of people he cares about, to make the problems go away
Leaves immediately when someone he doesn't like shows up, even if it offends others present
Openly shares his negative feelings toward others, even those he loves
Has a difficult time sharing his positive feelings toward others, even those he loves
Has a nice little sister
Prideful
Defensive
Universally disliked by nearly everyone acquainted with him
Very, very, very rich
Bachelor Number Two
Happy and cheerful at all times
Fairly good-looking
Anxious to meet and please new people
Recognizes the good in others
Has a difficult time seeing the faults in others
Willing to drop everything to help others in need
Easily influenced by his friends
Always smiling
Prone to hyperbole when describing others' good qualities
Nearly incapable of being offended
Has an annoying little sister
Kind and complimentary and respectful at all times
Universally well-liked by nearly everyone acquainted with him
Very rich (as opposed to very, very, very rich)
Very good. Now make up your mind who's the better bachelor. Got it?
OK, now tell me why, when you give them names, every single woman in the world says that she'd rather have Darcy than Bingley?
Bachelor Number One
Offish
Quite good-looking
Refuses to talk to new people
Domineering of his friends
Easily put off by others' silly actions
Insulting without remorse
Willing to throw a lot of money at the problems of people he cares about, to make the problems go away
Leaves immediately when someone he doesn't like shows up, even if it offends others present
Openly shares his negative feelings toward others, even those he loves
Has a difficult time sharing his positive feelings toward others, even those he loves
Has a nice little sister
Prideful
Defensive
Universally disliked by nearly everyone acquainted with him
Very, very, very rich
Bachelor Number Two
Happy and cheerful at all times
Fairly good-looking
Anxious to meet and please new people
Recognizes the good in others
Has a difficult time seeing the faults in others
Willing to drop everything to help others in need
Easily influenced by his friends
Always smiling
Prone to hyperbole when describing others' good qualities
Nearly incapable of being offended
Has an annoying little sister
Kind and complimentary and respectful at all times
Universally well-liked by nearly everyone acquainted with him
Very rich (as opposed to very, very, very rich)
Very good. Now make up your mind who's the better bachelor. Got it?
OK, now tell me why, when you give them names, every single woman in the world says that she'd rather have Darcy than Bingley?
Comments:
Because they are fools. I've long been trying to recruit people to Camp Bingley, but they just won't listen. I've made lists, showed clips from the movies, pulled out the book, it's hopeless man. For some reason they think Darcy changed enough by the end of the book to make him a different person. I don't feel that he did, and at the end of the day I was never impressed with his style.
I'd agree that, when you put it that way, Bingly seems like the better choice of mate. Darcy, however, has a few things going for him: he's intelligent, has dark hair, and is willing to change once he realizes he is in the wrong. (I do think Darcy really changed once he considered what Elizabeth said to him, but then I've been heavily influenced by Pamela Aiden's book "These Three Remain".)
I'll probably bring your question up in book club tonight since we just finished reading Pride and Prejudice.
I'll probably bring your question up in book club tonight since we just finished reading Pride and Prejudice.
I've always been a Bingley fan, and I think that Simon Woods was amazingly cast in the new movie.
First,
I don't think that every woman actually wants Darcy over Bingley.
Second,
I think that the description of Darcey you give isn't fully accurate. A lot of those things are the perception of him based on things that weren't accurate. In addition to Darcy changing, there is also the understanding of different circumstances.
First,
I don't think that every woman actually wants Darcy over Bingley.
Second,
I think that the description of Darcey you give isn't fully accurate. A lot of those things are the perception of him based on things that weren't accurate. In addition to Darcy changing, there is also the understanding of different circumstances.
I don't think Darcy ever fully apologizes for being a punk. It's the allure of the bad boy. He's all dark and mystic and most women want to make him all better. Plus, people think he actually did change and they think it's flattering that someone would change that much for them..
I have long tried to explain to Matt the main flaw in his argument which is that Lizzie did NOT have Bingley as an option. Bingley was taken with her sister, Jane, from the moment he laid eyes on her. So she couldn't really choose between the two. Given her choices Lizzie did very well - certainly Darcy is better than doting Mr. Collins and wiley Mr. Wicham.
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only member of Camp Bingley.
Anonymous 3:16, are you a man or a woman? If a woman, you are an exception to the rule of your sex.
RC, who said that Bingley wasn't intelligent? And I accounted for the possibility that Darcy is more physically attractive (though I'm not sure that's explicitly spelled out in the book). You wouldn't marry a jerk just because he's a dark-haired jerk, would you?
Mike, ask any woman who she'd prefer, and she'll say Darcy every time. And I admit I skewed the descriptions a little, but this is my blog--I'm entitled.
Anonymous 5:52, your last sentence is intriguing. See below.
Sweet Shelly, you misconstrue my argument. I have never argued that Lizzie should have married Bingley. If I were Lizzie I would have pulled a Jane Austen and remained a spinster. Neither Darcy, Collins, nor Wickham is a worthy mate; only Bingley is, and he's taken. But just because you can't have the ideal doesn't mean you should settle for something less. My argument is that people like YOU and every other woman in the world, if given a choice, would choose Darcy over Bingley. My argument is that Jane Austen herself gave Darcy to her main protagonist (thus implying he's the better catch) and Bingley to her sister (implying he's good, but not AS good). It's the comparison of the two in the readers' minds that I'm concerned with.
All the comments about how Darcy changes remind me of Anakin Skywalker. Everyone but me thinks that both of these characters changed their entire nature because of one act (paying for Lydia's mistake, and killing the Emperor). I don't buy it. I believe in repentance and change, and Darcy probably comes farther along the road to change than Anakin does, but buying out the little sister's shame doesn't take away from the fact that the man is not pleasant to be around.
Anonymous 3:16, are you a man or a woman? If a woman, you are an exception to the rule of your sex.
RC, who said that Bingley wasn't intelligent? And I accounted for the possibility that Darcy is more physically attractive (though I'm not sure that's explicitly spelled out in the book). You wouldn't marry a jerk just because he's a dark-haired jerk, would you?
Mike, ask any woman who she'd prefer, and she'll say Darcy every time. And I admit I skewed the descriptions a little, but this is my blog--I'm entitled.
Anonymous 5:52, your last sentence is intriguing. See below.
Sweet Shelly, you misconstrue my argument. I have never argued that Lizzie should have married Bingley. If I were Lizzie I would have pulled a Jane Austen and remained a spinster. Neither Darcy, Collins, nor Wickham is a worthy mate; only Bingley is, and he's taken. But just because you can't have the ideal doesn't mean you should settle for something less. My argument is that people like YOU and every other woman in the world, if given a choice, would choose Darcy over Bingley. My argument is that Jane Austen herself gave Darcy to her main protagonist (thus implying he's the better catch) and Bingley to her sister (implying he's good, but not AS good). It's the comparison of the two in the readers' minds that I'm concerned with.
All the comments about how Darcy changes remind me of Anakin Skywalker. Everyone but me thinks that both of these characters changed their entire nature because of one act (paying for Lydia's mistake, and killing the Emperor). I don't buy it. I believe in repentance and change, and Darcy probably comes farther along the road to change than Anakin does, but buying out the little sister's shame doesn't take away from the fact that the man is not pleasant to be around.
I must admit that both 3:16 and 5:52 are one in the same. I am a woman -- a woman who wasted too many years fawning over Mr. Snotty-Pants-Darcy. One day I realized that if I were ever to meet Mr. Darcy in public he'd be like half the jerks in my singles ward. Plus, Darcy was rude to everyone accept Lizzy so if I wasn't the one who 'caught his eye' he would treat me like junk. However, even if he did like me it would still annoy me that he couldn't be nicer to other people.
I just can't accept his sudden about face as a true sign of a complete character change. His only motivation for helping with the Lydia ordeal was that her affair got in the way of his plans. In a moment of weakness, I think he would revert to his old Darcy ways and I just wouldn't want to deal with that as a wife. Bingley treated Jane like a princess and was such a kind man. If men like him truly do exist, Bingley is more along the lines of what I'm looking for.
Also, your Anakin comparison is spot on. Of course it makes the viewer feel good to see him reunited with Obi-Wan at the end, but come on! If you can kill thousands of people and redeem yourself by saving one, I don't know what I'm trying so hard for...;>.
I just can't accept his sudden about face as a true sign of a complete character change. His only motivation for helping with the Lydia ordeal was that her affair got in the way of his plans. In a moment of weakness, I think he would revert to his old Darcy ways and I just wouldn't want to deal with that as a wife. Bingley treated Jane like a princess and was such a kind man. If men like him truly do exist, Bingley is more along the lines of what I'm looking for.
Also, your Anakin comparison is spot on. Of course it makes the viewer feel good to see him reunited with Obi-Wan at the end, but come on! If you can kill thousands of people and redeem yourself by saving one, I don't know what I'm trying so hard for...;>.
I think you sell Darcy somewhat short by claiming he didn't change. Austen admittedly doesn't go into a whole lot of detail, but I'm at least open to the possibility that he really did realize he was acting like a pompous buffoon.
But regardless of whether he repented of his prideful ways, I think Darcy still appeals to women because of the allure of conquering and taming the wild guy. Sometimes women want someone exciting, overlooking the fact that "exciting" can also be labeled "irresponsible."
But regardless of whether he repented of his prideful ways, I think Darcy still appeals to women because of the allure of conquering and taming the wild guy. Sometimes women want someone exciting, overlooking the fact that "exciting" can also be labeled "irresponsible."
I've never liked Pride and Prejudice for just this reason. What happens when they do marry? I seriously doubt there's much happily-ever-after going on there. Girls don't want to marry the bad boy-- just appease themselves that they can get them. The unfortunate souls I know who did marry the bad boy almost inevitably regret it.
Peter and the most recent Anonymous, I think you guys have hit it on the head. Real-life women will always fawn over Darcy when they read about him or see him in movies (except for you, Bingley Fan). But they'll always look for a Bingley for themselves. I think it is the taming of the bad boy that makes Darcy so appealing. But deep down, women really want a good boy.
Post a Comment
