Tuesday, August 15, 2006
How To Help
The other day, we had a friend over for dinner whose husband just left for Iraq for a year. During the conversation, we told her that we wanted to be there for her during this difficult time and do whatever we could to help. Shelly and I lived apart for a summer right after we got married, so Shelly mentioned that she knows how it is to be away from your husband and feel lonely. She said that what she really wanted at that time was some friend to give her a standing open invitation to come over, just so she wouldn't be so lonely. So we made that very offer to our friend.
She told us that she really appreciated it, and I think she accepted the offer as well as could be expected. But I still wonder to what extent she'll take us up on it. For whatever reason, there still may be some hesitancy on her part to come to us when she needs someone.
It brings up the whole problem of trying to help people in all sorts of situations. You offer your help, and you're sincere, and they're sincere in their acceptance, but in the end, the help sometimes doesn't end up helping so much. This is one of the themes of the book (and to a lesser extent, the movie) "A River Runs Through It," one of my favorites.
"For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us," Reverend MacLean says. "But we can love completely without complete understanding." The solution, then, I suppose is to continue to manifest love towards your fellow men, and sooner or later, your help will take hold. Sometimes, even though it doesn't outwardly change anything, love is the most effective thing you can do. And I guess that's just what we're trying to do.
She told us that she really appreciated it, and I think she accepted the offer as well as could be expected. But I still wonder to what extent she'll take us up on it. For whatever reason, there still may be some hesitancy on her part to come to us when she needs someone.
It brings up the whole problem of trying to help people in all sorts of situations. You offer your help, and you're sincere, and they're sincere in their acceptance, but in the end, the help sometimes doesn't end up helping so much. This is one of the themes of the book (and to a lesser extent, the movie) "A River Runs Through It," one of my favorites.
"For it is true we can seldom help those closest to us," Reverend MacLean says. "But we can love completely without complete understanding." The solution, then, I suppose is to continue to manifest love towards your fellow men, and sooner or later, your help will take hold. Sometimes, even though it doesn't outwardly change anything, love is the most effective thing you can do. And I guess that's just what we're trying to do.
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