Wednesday, July 02, 2008
Vacation Tales Part III: Doffing My Hat
I love my daughter more than I love my hat.
I'm not even really a hat-wearer. But when we were going to spend the day standing in lines at Busch Gardens, I knew I'd better put something on my apex, because the ol' follicles aren't the sunscreen they used to be, if you know what I mean. So I grabbed my old green hat with my firm's (former) name on it, which I received for free at the beginning of my summer associateship in 2004.
The first bad sign was when I left it on the second ride I went on - I didn't want it to get blown off in the wind of the roller coaster, so I sat on it. Then when it was over, I stood up and walked away. Fortunately, Shelly went on the next ride after me (we were swapping out the kids) and when I yelled to her to look in the seat I was in, the staff member handed her my hat. Whew!
Then came the log flume. Shelly and Ellie and I all got into the same fiberglass "log", with me holding Ellie on my lap and Shelly in front of us. This not being a fast roller coaster, I didn't think to sit on my hat this time. I mean, how bad could it be if they let Ellie on the ride? (Besides, the seat was wet!) There was a smallish drop before the really big one, and Ellie reacted with "I don't like that!" so I held on to her the tighter for the big one.
Halfway down, I could feel the air working against the bill of my cap. Jiggle, jiggle. We're screaming. I'm holding Ellie and she's doing OK. Down, down. I could grab my hat with one hand, but then I'd have to let go of Ellie. Jiggle, jiggle. I feel it getting higher on my head. Down, down. Grab the girl, not the hat. The girl, not the hat.
Whoosh.
"Daddy, did you lose your hat?"
I just hope that when they pull my hat out of whatever flume drain it clogs up, they won't be able to use the law firm name on it and the DNA in the hairs stuck to it to trace it back to me.
I'm not even really a hat-wearer. But when we were going to spend the day standing in lines at Busch Gardens, I knew I'd better put something on my apex, because the ol' follicles aren't the sunscreen they used to be, if you know what I mean. So I grabbed my old green hat with my firm's (former) name on it, which I received for free at the beginning of my summer associateship in 2004.
The first bad sign was when I left it on the second ride I went on - I didn't want it to get blown off in the wind of the roller coaster, so I sat on it. Then when it was over, I stood up and walked away. Fortunately, Shelly went on the next ride after me (we were swapping out the kids) and when I yelled to her to look in the seat I was in, the staff member handed her my hat. Whew!
Then came the log flume. Shelly and Ellie and I all got into the same fiberglass "log", with me holding Ellie on my lap and Shelly in front of us. This not being a fast roller coaster, I didn't think to sit on my hat this time. I mean, how bad could it be if they let Ellie on the ride? (Besides, the seat was wet!) There was a smallish drop before the really big one, and Ellie reacted with "I don't like that!" so I held on to her the tighter for the big one.
Halfway down, I could feel the air working against the bill of my cap. Jiggle, jiggle. We're screaming. I'm holding Ellie and she's doing OK. Down, down. I could grab my hat with one hand, but then I'd have to let go of Ellie. Jiggle, jiggle. I feel it getting higher on my head. Down, down. Grab the girl, not the hat. The girl, not the hat.
Whoosh.
"Daddy, did you lose your hat?"
I just hope that when they pull my hat out of whatever flume drain it clogs up, they won't be able to use the law firm name on it and the DNA in the hairs stuck to it to trace it back to me.
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