I almost got robbed yesterday.

This morning, as I was taking Shelly to work, we walked up to my car, Johann, and I noticed that, oddly, the doors were unlocked. Upon opening them and taking a closer look at the interior of the car, it became apparent that someone had been in there. The glove compartment and ashtray were wide open, and their contents had been thrown out onto the seats.

We gasped, and quickly began to assess the damage. My first thought was my stereo. The built-in part was still in the dashboard, but I keep the faceplate in the glove compartment. Was it gone? No, there it was underneath the papers from my glove compartment. (Interestingly, it wouldn't have been all that bad if the faceplate had been stolen; when I moved to Boston, I lost the faceplate and eventually bought a new one. Months later, I found the original in my big CD case, so I now have a spare.)

Next horrifying thought: "What if he made off with my registration or other important documents I keep in the glove compartment?" But no, we leafed through the pile of papers on the passenger seat, and everything seemed to be there. I guess the would-be thief figured they wouldn't do him any good, so why should he make my life worse? Thanks, would-be thief. Even Sleepy Dwarf, the Happy Meal toy that I use when I get gas (every car has its quirks--with mine, you have to keep holding the "open gas cap" lever while you pull open the gas cap, and that's too far for my arms to reach, so I use Sleepy as a prop to hold the lever up), was still there. Nothing had been taken from the glove compartment--just tossed onto the seat. I have what's called an "AudioBug," a $30 piece of electronic equipment that plugs into my MP3 player and broadcasts the music over the radio, so my car stereo can get it. But it was right there on the seat, with all the rest of the clutter. It's an odd item, and I bet our guest had no clue what it was. He could have hawked it for a few bucks, I guess.

But the funniest and potentially scariest part of the assessment was a key that was lying in the middle of the driver's seat. I had seen this key just about a week ago, inside the ashtray. It looks kind of like the key to my car, and I thought at that time, "Why do I have a spare key here in the ashtray?" Upon seeing it again on the driver's seat this morning, I thought, "He left the key to the car." But if that were the key to the car, the car wouldn't be there. After thinking for a bit, I remembered that I found this key a few years ago (I think in my BYU days) on the back seat, accidentally left behind by some passenger. I had tried to find its owner, but when I was unsuccessful, I just decided to hold onto it in case they contacted me. I put it in the ashtray and forgot about it.

I put the key to the car's ignition. It went in far enough to make the "door open" alarm ding, but wouldn't fit all the way. I imagined our friend the would-be thief sitting there, trying and trying the key, thinking he just needed to angle it a little different to be able to make off with the car. Frustrated, he just got out and threw the key down on the seat.

There was absolutely no harm done. Nothing was broken or missing--just scattered. There was nothing at all in my car worth stealing besides the stereo and the AudioBug (he would be welcome to pilfer my two plastic water bottles). We figure I must have forgotten to lock the door the last time I used the car (usually an annoyingly automatic habit--I often push the power lock button before any passengers have their doors open to exit the car), some punk walked past and noticed, got in, went through my stuff, found nothing worthwhile, tried the key, got frustrated (or scared?), and fled.

Moral of the story: Cambridge isn't as safe as it sometimes seems. And always keep a decoy key in your car, to frustrate would-be thieves.